Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Bad Guy

Okay so I admit-- I’m the bad guy.

I stay home with my daughter ALL day and devote about 85% of myself (my energy) to whatever she needs or wants… the other percent is taking care of myself to ensure I am able to take care of her.

I bathe her.
I rock her.
I cook her food.
I do laundry
I do dishes (sometimes)
We run around and play outside.
We go for walks.
I read her stories … A LOT of reading.
We go to library time for tots.
We dance.
We laugh.
We joke.
I kiss her boo boos.

But I’m the bad guy.

When I spank her.
When I correct her.
When I remind her to listen and obey.
When she goes into a time out.

That makes me the bad guy – when the people at the next table over at a restaurant send glares at me for disciplining my child. (scolding or otherwise and the tears start falling and she's crying because she isn't getting what she wants)

When Ellie gives me that look of disappointment, sadness that Mama corrected or disciplined me kind of look.

I am the bad guy.

I come to her at night when she wakes from a bad dream.
I soothe her fears.
I encourage her to keep trying when she says she can’t.
I praise her for just trying.
I hold her when she’s sleepy.
I tickle her so she will laugh when she’s sad.
I change her diapers and teach her to use the toilet, clean up her accidents.

But when I am occupied with table conversation for a few brief moments with other guests around inevitably -someone else, a friend or a Grandpa or Grandma or an Uncle or an Aunt takes those few moments that I look away to chat or take a bite to actually eat food … they pay attention to my daughter and make her laugh or just keep her out of mischief. I feel like the bad guy.

When my daughter is being a bit unruly (running around like a raving lunatic, jumping and climbing on everything and everyone) yet EVERYONE keeps saying she’s fine and she’s just being two – and I am the one to reign her in and remind her to be calmer or to sit still and if need be spank her – Then I get the stares or glares or other people “feeling bad for HER” I am the bad guy.

I feel like I cannot win - if I let her run around I get the looks from people "Why is that kid misbehaving" and If I don't let her do what she wants and she cries ... the look is either "Make that kid be quiet" or "what do you do to that kid?" I can't win. :-)

My prayers are that one day this “bad guy” will have instilled in my children good manners, good behavior, a good attitude, and a politeness that cannot be found these days. And MUCH more… much more than that. :-)A respect for all people, a love for fellow mankind, a joy in serving, a thankful heart in receiving- a heart of gratitude, a servant's heart for helping.... and on the list goes. A person after God's own heart.

"Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." Proverbs 13:24

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

What are your experiences with disciplining your child in public or large gathering of family? Share a time when it could not have been helped and you HAD to spank /correct immediately. Was it at home with a lot of family visiting? Was it in a grocery store or a restaurant? Was it in a kid’s playground /park? Was it at the Doctors office? Share your story here. :-)


  1. I am right there in the same boat as you sheila - I also am a home mom but i have 4 kids so its a little more hectic around my house - my husband works 3rd shift so he's asleep during the daytime and at work at night so he hardly ever sees the kids so discipline is mainly on me to deal with so yes I am the bad guy and ive learned to live with that but I will say one thing - it took a lot of migraines for me and a lot of time outs for them but I think it might have made some sortof of impression on them to behave themselves somewhat maybe by the time they move out and go off to college at least lol

    1. Thank you Pam for taking time to read my blog! And yes, I do think you are right - you have made a great impression on your children. :-) Keep up the good work in parenting.

  2. This post is something I've always wanted to put into words, but couldn't for some reason!! It is excellent. We spanked, and it is a biblical command. I am so thankful we did, too. Firm, consistent, with love, not strident or loud or mean, but with expectant joy that they would one day be healthy self-governed productive citizens in God's kingdom! Your daughter is truly blessed.
    Well said!! I hope you shared this at DRAH. So encouraging!

    1. Thank you Jacqueline! I really appreciate the encouragement! And I love Deep Roots At Home! Thank you for your ministry!! :-)

    2. PS: How do I share this entry at DRAH?


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